I always think about the worst in case i get a bad result . I feel safe and ready when i think about it from the start. Even though bad result is just what i feel and i doubt whether bad is actually bad or it is a medium that will lead me to the good things . I don't know, i just wanna see the positive side. However think about the worst helps me prepare for a plan 'B' . In the last few months i realize that everything i had planned and did in life can't just go smoothly. So cliche, but never mind it's an adult problem. Sometimes i feel lost and confuse. What i wish that i can reach is too hard to reach , or maybe i didn't fight enough for it? or maybe it's just not my path ? or maybe it's just not my passion ? Besides, passion isn't an adult's word. They have to live in reality, and reality refuse something about passion. So the thought always crosses my mind, either i have to fight a losing battle or go for a plan 'B' . I'll...
Being overly sensitive about anything is exhausting. I'm tired about anything and I had no idea why? I juts felt like... I still can't even explain it. Like... I was in an empty room with no one, it's a small room and isn't dark and I sat there all day not knowing what was going to happen, just like that. That's terrified. Oh, and about my emotions. That's worst. My lips felt heavy to smile so I always put on a straight face. I get angry easily over little things. And I knew that anger is an ugly face, so then I didn't look in the mirror. My eating and sleeping patterns were ruined, I stay away from social interactions and many more. That wasn't me a few moths ago, although part of that is me, but I feel frustrated. My painful memories were often recalled. I always feel sleepy and tired, I eat only when I want to. This really bothers me. So, I really want to end this. I know what others will think when I tell this, so just in case if you don't know. ...